No-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing Morning

You know those days, when you wake up and nothing seems to go your way? Days when you long for a restart button.

 At 9 o’clock this morning, I was wishing I had a restart button. One of those “no-good-dirty-rotten-pic-stealing” days(Holes...great movie). All girls can relate…those mornings when you try on a thousand outfits and come up with nothing.

 Today was one of those days. My hair had attack of the static cling, my lipstick broke while I was putting it on, I used a new foundation for the first time (always a gamble). Then, once I finally feel like I can take on the world and face the day with my static hair, messed up lipstick, and outfit that I’m semi-comfortable in, I go out to my car, start it up, and try to pull up Google maps. Nothing. Nothing comes up. It wouldn’t show me my past addresses, my current addresses, nothing. So I go to the church website and click on the Maps button. Again, nothing. It wouldn’t give me directions. Whatever…I give up on maps and drive out of my parking garage, thinking maps will come around and work as I’m on my way. Little did I know there’s a triathlon taking place right outside my apartments. A hundred bikes zooming by. There are cones everywhere and police cars with flashing lights. And I’m not even sure I can drive on this road at this point. In defeat, I put the car in reverse and head back up to my apartment.

 It’s mornings like these that make me remember this is not my home. Some days, things will go wrong, and I have to just sit back,laugh, and thank God for everything that IS going right. In light of this morning, I decided to find some videos to help me put my morning in perspective and make me laugh. Thankful none of these things happened to me this morning. Enjoy.

"Jesus loves me, this I know."

Remember that old song we used to sing as little kids? “Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so..." This weekend as I reflect back on this first week in a new city, at new school, around new people I am reminded of how great God’s love is for me. I can see His fingerprints all over the place. This week has been a whirlwind of events and as I think back, last weekend seems a world away. I moved in on Friday and got to know my super sweet roommate from Vietnam over the weekend. Classes started Monday and I got an awesome semi-surprise visit from my “big brother,” Marcel, that lives in Switzerland. Reminder #1 that Jesus loves me: He reminded me of the work He’s done before and the work He’s going to do in my life. Marcel and I worked together while I lived in Moldova a few years ago for the summer. He drove ten hours to come see me and spend a couple days with me, while he’s in the states. We went downtown and checked out all the touristy things. While we were walking downtown, I see across the street, people I think I know! Seriously, 3 hours away in a big city, the first day I’m out in the city, I run into people from my church back home! Reminder #2 that Jesus loves me: He is orchestrating things in his perfect timing and cares about the details of my life. I spent the day with Marcel and had my 2nd class in the afternoon. I was slightly afraid I wouldn’t know how to get there (This is a huge campus). I had to switch buses and really was unsure if I was going to make it to the right place. As I get on the second bus, some girls start talking about how this bus goes to the building I need to go to. Reminder #3 Jesus loves me: He reassures me and comforts me. The rest of the day was spent hanging out with my big brother in laughter and encouragement. Reminder #4 Jesus loves me: He will never leave me alone, and sometimes that includes bringing people into my life, so I’m not alone. Wednesday was the dreaded…first speech day! Dun dun dun. My heart is pounding the entire class period. I’m afraid and shaking and nervous as can be. I take a deep breath, raise my hand, and volunteer to give my speech. It’s pretty much a blur as I look back on it, but amazingly it got voted top 3 in the class. I know this is the holy spirit’s work and not my words. Reason #5 Jesus loves me: He brings me through tough things and exceeds my expectations of them. I got to share about all the places Jesus has taken me on this crazy adventure with him, and talk about the work I’ve been able to do. Friday was a day of freedom. Freedom in our country. Freedom in my life. Freedom in Jesus. I went on a few mile walk along the river and saw so much beauty all around me. Reason #6 Jesus loves me: He’s given me freedom! And He is constantly reminding me of His beauty. I sat outside and watched the fireworks that night, and again was reminded of beauty and freedom. I had such a peace as I sat and watched this beautiful display in the sky. I know that God has brought me through this week. I love seeing His fingerprints all around me. I know that He has led me here, and has plans for me here. Last year, shoot 4 months ago, if you would have asked me if I would ever go back to school, I would have said “Absolutely not.” Jesus changed my heart and opened this new chapter. This has been such a fast transition and move, and I’m so glad that God is leading me in this journey. I think back to last summer. I was a leader at NMC summer camp, and there was a chapter in Isaiah that I wrote down and really stuck with me as I left camp. It’s incredible to look back to what God was saying to me then, and see how He’s been faithful. God’s promises are always true. “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…Others died that you might live…You are precious to me. You are honored. And I love you. Do not be afraid, for I am with you….You have been chosen to know me, believe in me, and understand that I alone am God. There is no other God; there never has been and never will be. I am the Lord, and there is no other savior…. This is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do a brand-new thing. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” Isaiah 43:1-5, 10-11, 18-19

Storms Are for Our Good

Stories always make me understand things better. I love that Jesus used parables to teach people in the bible, because I understand them and they help me see His reasoning better. I came upon this story this morning, and it's so spot on to the storms of life. Also, that I'm nearing the end of season one of LOST and I'm completely hooked. haha. "The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He feverishly prayed for God’s rescue, but with every day that passed, his hope weakened. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood for protection from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. Everything was lost. Stunned with grief and anger, the man cried, "God, how could you do this to me!" The next morning, he woke to the sound of a ship approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" the weary man asked. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied. Storms are for our good." This literally just made me smile when I read it. I can totally see how we don't understand when God does something we are hurt by, but He doesn't do it to hurt us. Instead, He does it to save us; to rescue us. What an incredible picture. Looking back on my life growing up, there were some rough storms; some big waves. But it's in those storms that I grew. Those are the times when I remember God showing up and teaching me. I learned to TRUST Him. He is oh so faithful! Even looking back this past year, probably the biggest storm of my life was going through a long period of depression. I'm talking like 8 months or more...that I actually acknowledged it. When you're in the storm, the pit, whatever it may be, you can't see anything in front of you. There's so much darkness that you don't know how you're going to get through it and come out of it. But coming out of that pit is the most beautiful, glorious thing you will ever experience... Seeing God's goodness and faithfulness like never before. I can now see that although I felt completely isolated and alone all that time, He was there holding me up when I felt like I was drowning. He was there, holding my hand and closer than ever. Coming out of that time, I am a new person. I've grown so much in knowing myself and in knowing Jesus. I'm thankful for the storm and grateful for a God that can see the big picture. His ways are always the best. These storms are the waves that bring us safe to shore.

MLK and Rosa Parks: Perspective in Personality

Last year was such a time of growth for me! I’ve been discovering who I am and how God created me. A big part of this was figuring out my personality and learning to accept myself as an introvert. I started reading this book called “Quiet…In A World That Can’t Stop Talking.” It just talks about introverts today in a world where extroversion is the standard. One of the first stories is talks about is the relationship of Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Parks. MLK was clearly a leader, outspoken, and a world changer. Rosa Parks was also a leader and a world changer, but the way she went about it was different because of her personality. She took a quiet stand ,refusing to move on that bus. The power of that ACTION is what started a movement; not the words she used. It’s the inspiring speeches of King Jr. and the actions of Parks that moved a nation. Together, their opposite personalities were more powerful than both of them being loud leaders. I’m so encouraged by this story. At times I feel like my personality isn’t as great because I’m not outspoken and loud. Especially as a leader of high school students, I don’t stand out as much; I’m not the crazy leader dancing around and up on stage. Conversations and one-on-ones I can have with students are gold to me. I’ll be the first to say being an introvert in an extroverted world is not easy. It takes more effort to put myself out there for job interviews and not feel bad “promoting” myself. It takes more effort to reach out to people and be social all the time, when I’m content being alone most times. It’s not that I’m anti-social. Not at all. In fact, during this “blizzard” we had last week, I was going crazy being alone! It’s just that being social takes energy from me and I need those alone times to recharge. I love that God made such opposite personalities and knew that both would be needed just as equally. If the listeners and thinkers weren’t there to brainstorm and create new ideas, businesses wouldn’t thrive. And if the outspoken leaders weren’t there to speak for the thinkers, their ideas might never be put into action. We need each other. I don’t know why sometimes we think we can do this alone. We can’t. We need community. We need family. We need Christ…leading us, growing us, walking with us. As I look ahead to the next few months, I’m so excited! God used that rough spot in my life to break me down, grow me, and bring me closer to Him. And now I can move forward. Can’t wait for this next chapter and see how God wants to work!

An Observation on the Waves and the Fire

I recently just got back from a winter retreat with our high school students. I was amazed by the ways God moved and how He spoke. For me, it was an incredible time to get away and just BE in the presence of my savior. Well needed alone time. The Lord gave me some great insight and thoughts while I was there. There was one day while we were there that I had a piece of a song stuck in my head. It's a newer song from The Rend Collective Experiment. "Fire before us, you're the brightest. You will lead us through the storm. Safe to shore." Those three sentences kept playing on repeat. I wrote them out and started drawing. I drew flames, then drew waves. And being the great artist I am (ha not) they looked exactly the same. "Isn't it interesting that fire and waves look the same. Fire refines and waves bring us to the shore. They're so similar. God uses both the fire and waves to bring us to Him. But too, God is the fire and He is the waves. His light burns the brightest and His waves bring us safe to shore. Fire and waves (trials) are not meant to hurt us, but are for our benefit. We view them as bad things, but I think God uses them as good things. If we trust in Him, He knows He can rescue us from them. He knows we will be better because of them. He sees through the fire and waves....It may feel like you are being whipped around and drug out in the ocean, but God calls us out upon the water. Jesus is there, all along. He's walking on the waves. He wants us to walk with Him on the waves, but sometimes we sink in our own power. The storm doesn't last forever. Storms always end. There is always a peace at the end of a storm" [My journaling from that day.] This picture of fire and waves, has just stuck in my head this last week or so. It's a perspective changer. If we view the waves and the flames as opportunities to grow, instead of difficult things to endure, it changes everything.

2014: A year of Light

2014 for me is a new beginning. 2013 was a year of hardships and darkness. I'm incredibly thankful for the journey and I've grown so much. I've learned so much about myself and grown in my relationship with Jesus. I wouldn't trade that year for anything, but it's not something I'd like to have to go through again. I'm incredibly excited for what God has in store this year! Already, He's been teaching me and leading me. He has captured my heart and taken me over. One word that I want this year to be about it "Light." 2013 was a year of darkness. 2014 will hopefully be a year of light. I'm so ready to continue on this crazy adventure with my savior and serve Him. Can't wait for the months ahead!